more melancholy

i'd really like to write about what a good time we're having with our friends - because we are - but, unfortunately, i'm just very down this week. if it's not bad enough that i'm a completely worthless employee, i'm also a subpar wife. swan-dive off the balcony anyone?

feeling underappreciated again

why is it that work depresses me more than anything else in my life? no matter how loyal i am or how much i bust my butt at my job, i always end up feeling like a completely worthless loser.

wash, rinse, repeat

i've already got the bunk bedding done and the towels are ready to be dried. wash up one more bed, make said beds, fold and put away said towels, vacuum, and we're just about ready for the next houseguests coming in tomorrow night. i love that people come visit us!

my sissy is gone

they just left. they're actually heading west an hour or so to drop their boy off with friends and then they'll head back home. sadly, it seemed like a very short visit. but we had a great time. saturday we had a fun time at the beach and pool with boogie boards and my duckie. my duckie was a huge hit amongst all of the chilluns. there was then some afternoon nappage followed by a nice evening of walking around our favorite shopping plaza and dinner at a place we had not yet tried. there was even some late night rock band jamming.

sunday was a more adventurous day that started out with sissy and the chilluns flying around.


the boys thoroughly enjoyed taking a dip or three.

the girls were happy hanging out together.

it was then time for maiden voyage - the sequel. our new kayaks with their matching life vests were anxious to prove they were better than the other 'yaks.

the whole family got in on the action after hubby and i had our fun. bro-n-law was a fierce paddler.

he even tried to t-bone his son.
nephew² enjoyed surfing.

sissy braved the deeper waters a bit.

and even niece caught a wave.

we followed all of that water play up with some lunch and relaxation and then some frisbee and pool play. when everyone was done outside, hubby and i had dinner, movie, and crabbing time with the kids while my sissy and bro-n-law went out for the evening. it was a wonderful weekend and i'm already looking forward to their next visit (thanksgiving?). luckily, we won't have to go through withdrawals too long since we'll be going to see them next weekend!

surf's up!

after buying the new 'yaks home friday at lunch, we left one (mine) in the car so that we could take it on a quick trial run after work (before returning the other kayak and paddle). the surf was up (for this part of the world) that afternoon and we were tremendously pleased with how the new 'yak surfs.

new kayaks - the sequel!

we actually managed to sell the kayak that i won yesterday for the amount that we were asking. so, we are taking the other one back tonight and we got these beauties to replace them. since i'm such a girl, we got a red one to match hubby's red life vest and a blue one to match my blue life vest. we'll be well accessorized kayakers! the biggest reason that we made the switch is that these are 1.5 feet shorter. doesn't seem like much but when you live in a condo, it's a huge difference. they went into the elevator with no struggle, i can carry one by myself much easier (about the same weight but more compact and better handholds), and, perhaps most importantly, we'll be able to keep them in our outside storage instead of having to carry them through the house to store them on the balcony. that'll really save our carpet, furniture, and walls. my cousin, in her wonderful selflessness, went way out of her way last night to purchase paddles for us and drop them off at my sissy's so that they can be delivered to us tonight. yay for new (nicer) kayaks again!!!

don't tell my sissy

we just spent about twenty minutes out on the balcony watching a relatively large (probably about five foot) shark swimming all around a couple of swimmers. i don't think the swimmers noticed him, even though he got as close as ten feet from them. we watched him swim out to sea and come back in around them again several times but i think he finally got tired of them and went out to sea for good. it was fascinating to watch. i had my camera ready but he was too far away (next building over) and staying too far under the water. it was a fun break anyhow. and, luckily, those two body surfers must not look very tasty.

cancer update

my friend had his pet scan and bone marrow biopsy last week and met with the dr to get the results yesterday. the good news is that they don't believe that it has gotten into the bone marrow. the not so great news is that they have identified three separate cancer masses (one large one) with high suv values. they have identified him as being in stage III, which from my research isn't really all that important in the grand scheme of treatment in non-hodgkins lymphomas. the dr gave him several treatment options ranging from watch and wait to an experimental clinical trial form of chemo. my friend is weighing the options with his family. they are leaning toward the experimental treatment right now but they have two weeks to make a decision. my friend commented that if he can just survive long enough to walk his daughter down the aisle in a few years, he'd be happy. i, of course, started tearing up like crazy at this point. i just can't imagine. but he is trying to stay positive and i'm trying to stay positive for him. i know he's going to beat this and he's going to be around for a long, long time. he'll walk his daughter down the aisle, spoil his grandkids, and take his wife on that hawaiian honeymoon that he promised her twenty-five years ago.

*sigh*

every time i think it's going to start getting more tolerable, i get !$#&#! all over again.

it would just be super

if my head would stop throbbing now.

vacancies are filling up quick

assuming that they can get a spot for their dog at the kennel, my sissy and her family will be coming to see us this weekend. they plan to leave monday or tuesday and tuesday night, our friends beth and jeremy and their kids will be arriving to stay with us until next saturday. we'll leave when they do to head down to orlando where my hubby has to go into the office for the week and i'll be planning, preparing for, and throwing a bridal shower for my friend the following saturday. we'll come back home sunday after the shower and then my cousin and her hubby will be coming to see us the weekend after that. yay for having lots of fun company to look forward to in the coming weeks!!!

it's taken long enough

but i finally made it back to the gym. i only did thirty minutes on the treadmill because i was running late on my lunch break but something is better than nothing, right. every night i toy with the idea of setting my clock much earlier so that i can go jogging in the mornings like i did the other day. it really was a nice and peaceful way to start the day (although an hour or two later i was exhausted and thought my head was going to burst). i just don't know that i can drag myself out of bed any earlier than i already do. i'm just starting to finally get used to the idea of working at 07:00. anyhow, maybe one of these days i'll win over my body and begin a morning jogging regimen. i bet that would actually get some results if i could do it.

too dumb

since i can't figure out how to make the folds only show up on expanded posts, i'm going foldless again. i hate when i'm too dumb to do stuff. there was a time (ever so long ago) that i truly believed i was an intelligent person who could learn anything. granted, that was when i was a stupid teenager who had it all figured out. the cockiness of youth, eh?

only a handful of people will understand the significance of this pic

are you one of them?

easy sunday

yep, it was a nice, take-it-easy kind of day. after sleeping in a bit and a nice breakfast, we went to see the dark knight. phenomenal. truly up to the hype. hubby, who really doesn't get into movies at all, stated that it was the best movie he'd seen in quite some time. we then went to a park, looked at some condos that are going up for auction, and had dinner out. all that adds up to a very nice sunday in my book. shame that it gets followed up by monday.

request for technical assistance

so i was trying to figure out how to create folds in my entries. i think i finally got it working but the fold link now shows up at the end of every entry whether i have an expansion or not. does anyone know what i need to do to get the fold link to only show up when there is a fold?

picked up

after bringing the 'yaks back up and getting cleaned up, we had a bite to eat and walked down to the country bar at the plaza (after 23:00, we're so young!). we were sitting in the back getting cooled off a bit after the walk and the guy at the next table started talking to me. i introduced myself and my husband and then he asked me to dance. he did at least ask hubby if he minded and then he led me to the dance floor. i can't think of what song was playing but it was a semi-slow song so he was very close to me and kept putting my arms around his neck. it was strange. it was really strange. he didn't try anything funny and when the dance was over, i went back to hubby and that was that. i guess it was a flattering experience, but pretty akward too. hubby and i danced for a couple of hours and then walked back home. it was a fun night.

maiden voyage

thursday we purchased a kayak for hubby to go with the one that i won earlier this month. when we brought it home, we put it in the water and took turns trying it out. last night we took both kayaks down to the beach for the official maiden voyage.

they were itching to get in the water

have i mentioned how much i love my backyard?
hubby paddling into the sunset
our kayaks missed each other
you wouldn't believe how long i chased this stupid jelly around trying to get a pic
they're fast little buggers

unfortunately, i didn't find my shark (although hubby finally saw one this morning from the balcony - he said it was right out in front of our building, about twenty feet from swimmers). we didn't paddle far at all (since i spent all that time going in circles chasing jellies). but we stayed out on the water for close to an hour and had a great time. we even found a few waves to surf.

images from fourth of july weekend

driving through centre, al there was a stretch of about three miles or so that was lined with flags and crosses with soldiers names and their war. it was beautiful.

our cabin was designed just for me

there were so many gorgeous ducks

unfortunately, there were also a few that i didn't like at all

i wonder why they call them the smokies?

hungry bird babies

old mill in cades cove

are you looking at me?

chicks dig it when i flex

just so that you know, i felt tremendously guilty seeing these miserable bears but the family wanted to do it, so i was obligated to participate. they were so sad looking.

just look at that tear - heartbreaking

just for my cousin

companionship on a sleepless morning

i woke up just before 0400 because i had to pee. after that, i could not get back to sleep. i woke hubby up for a few minutes but he was able to go right back to sleepi (i hate that about him). i got up and went out to the balcony to watch the moon over the water for a bit. i rummaged in the dark through our closet to find batteries for my camera (both sets of batteries are dead; anyone know where my charger is???) and tried to take pictures of the moon but, as much as i heart my camera, it sucks in low light. it was beautiful though. it was a full, orange moon. it was behind a light cloud so the cloud was glowing orange with just the tip of the moon peeking out over top and then there was a trail of the orange moonlight all the way across the water into the shore. it was wonderous. shame about the lack of good photo. this doesn't do it justice at all. and it was after the clouds moved away.

about 0500 i laid back down and tried to go back to sleep. no such luck. at 0530 i decided to get up and go jogging on the beach. while i am not a morning person or jogger at all, it was very nice and peaceful out. there are no waves so the water just lapped at the shore and my feet a little. it was cool and quiet and relaxing (in a i-am-so-not-a-jogger/morning-person kind of way). my goal was to go to a building that would have made it about three miles round trip. i'd say i was about a quarter-mile from that buildng when i got an unexpected jogging companion. i kid you not, five feet away from me a shark was swimming the shoreline. it was only a baby, three feet from nose to tail, but it was soooo cool! i was very excited and ticked off that i didn't have my camera. it stayed five to eight feet away for probably thirty yards before it finally decided to swim back out to sea. i could have reached out and touched it, it was so close. i'm no shark expert, but i'm pretty sure it was a black tip based on body style. clearly, i need a super tiny, high-tech, spy camera. something tiny that i could carry on me at all times no matter what i'm doing but takes great pix. yes, i did vent to the shark about him having the audacity to show up when i was completely cameraless. maybe he'll come back around while we're kayaking this weekend so that i can get his closeup. we've also had a six foot or so eagle ray passing by the last couple of days. i had no batteries in my camera yesterday. i did get a couple pictures today but he was much farther out and you can't hardly make it out as an eagle ray.

boys just don't get it

every step of the way, my boy has been bewildered by the effort that i am going to for these shower invitations.  everything from "just buy the fill-in-the-blank kind" to "you know these aren't the actual wedding invitations, right?".  i asked him if he thought that people cut corners for our wedding to which he answered that he'd just stay out of it (for the next five seconds anyhow).  as it is, the idea i had in my mind for the invitations was so much nicer than what i ended up with and i actually feel badly about that.  truth be told, the invitations are a bit ugly.  don't get me wrong, i think i did the best that i could, but i ended up having to completely dismiss what i really wanted to do (bad thing about small towns is that it's harder to find specialty stuff) and what i ended up going with is truly a hideous color.  they would actually be very cute if it weren't for the color.  anyhow, i just think it's funny how he doesn't seem to remember all of the hardwork and detail that people put into making every aspect of our wedding wonderful.  i want to do no less for my friend.  i feel very badly that i had no experience with this sort of stuff when i was bridesmaid for my other friends.  i just didn't have a clue what i was supposed to do or how to do it so i was less than helpful to them.  i guess you just learn these things over time.  anyhow, i've got most of the invitations sealed in their envelopes and ready to go to the post office.  i'm still waiting on three addresses and then this phase of the shower will be done.  time to start planning a menu, favors, games, prizes and such. 

HAPPY (one day late) BIRTHDAY, NEPHEW1!!!

hey, i did remember to call and assault the answering machine with my "singing" yesterday afternoon.

have you seen my glue sticks?

geesh, the shower is going to be over before i ever get the invitations sent out. i'm in need of a glue stick. i've got glue sticks. i don't know where my glue sticks might be. i'm certain they're around here somewhere as i remember exactly where that box was when we first moved in but i have no idea what happened to it since. when i get a gluestick, assembly will be completed and i'll be down to envelope stuffing, stamping, and mailing. yay! there are four addresses i'm still waiting on too.

you'll be a dentist! you have a talent for causing things pain...

but at least i can feel my lips again (usta!).  dental visit went smoothly but took way too long.  got bridal shower invitation supplies on the way home and need to get those done and sent out tomorrow.  the mountain of laundry is about to avalanche and i'm pretty sure we'll be goners.  hubby has made a bit of tidying progress around the house but not me.  maybe, just maybe, today's the day to get something done!

nothing to say

i'm sure you've noticed.  or not.  whatever.  i think my mind is still recovering from three weeks of overload.  there may have been a short-circuit or two so rebooting is taking longer than usual.  that and i'm just not feeling right.  i've had heartburn since saturday, which is highly unusual and i've had a mega-headache (though, thankfully, not yet migraine) since yesterday afternoon.  today i was supposed to be back in the gym but i just feel icky.  i know that's a crummy excuse but i really was looking forward to getting back into the gym today (in a i-still-loathe-the-gym-but-am-desperate-to-get-smaller kind of way).  i plan to go back through my pix from pigeon forge and insert a few back into the appropriate entries.  i'll let you know when that gets done.  the little bit of non-work brain time i've had has been going toward bridal shower planning.  and, by the way, have i started on that laundry yet???

update on cam (son of coworker hs)

on our way out of atlanta yesterday, we stopped at the facility to visit with hs a bit. he seemed to be in good spirits and couldn't brag enough on the facility. he said that all of the doctors there are totally johnny-on-the-spot about things and he is astounded with how quickly they get things done when they say they are going to do it. they have also been tirelessly working with him to cut through all of the red-tape of getting ssi and medicaid(?) and how to make their houses accessible. cam is back on a respirator because of some lung problems that went untreated at the other hospital but they are getting them taken care of and he should be breathing on his own again shortly. the good news is that he continues to regain motion in his arms. he still does not have tricep control but he is able to flex his bicep and has figured out how to slowly relax it in order to extend his arm back out again. he is also moving his wrist a little. still no progress on his lower body but since they were originally told that he would be a quadriplegic, they are thrilled with every progress he makes. hs feels that if he can at least get his upper body back, he can still have great quality of life. he also said that cam is very much himself and, though he has moments of despondency, he is overall positive and ready to overcome. what a blessing! amazingly, he remembers the entire incident and, during the few days that he was off the respirator, was able to tell his dad about it all. he said that he was running into the ocean, jumping waves, and on one jump the ocean floor was just closer than he thought. he landed on his head and immediately knew he was dead. he could not feel his body at all and could tell he was laying on the ocean floor being pushed around by the waves. his friend was in the water with him and thought he was playing around (poor friend had a major guilt-breakdown and required medical attention himself to get calmed down). cam said that the waves pushed him toward his friend and he saw his foot and bit down on it. that's when his friend knew something was wrong and dragged him out of the water. amazing. i feel badly for his friend and i pray that he is able to get past this and realize it was not his fault and he did nothing wrong (unrelated but humorous - hs told friend to drive cam's car home and after driving all that way, he got within city limits of home and the car blew up from being low on oil; hs has no idea where it even is). hs had some great stories of cam being cam and it was a really nice visit.

update on bl

my buddy had more tests run yesterday and they were able to determine that it is follicular lymphoma which is an indolent non-hodgkins type. i was not happy to hear this because, from the research i've done, the indolent forms are worse than the aggressive forms but he said that the doctors tell him that this particular type responds very well to chemotherapy. they also say that it has a very high incidence of recurrence so after they put it into remission, chances are very good that it will come back and will be more aggressive when it does. *hold back tears* his next step is to get a full body pet scan and bone marrow biopsy done so that they can find where the cancer has already spread to around the body and what stage he's in so that they can determine what treatment course they need to pursue. it looks like it's such a slow-growing cancer that by the time it's discovered, it's usually already stage three or four because it's been growing for years without symptoms. i think my friend is in the anger stage of grieving. he wants to know how this happened; what caused it. he told the doctor that he's in good shape, exercises, eats right... the doctor told him cancer doesn't care. i think he's very upset that he couldn't have prevented it. several years ago, he had clarks level 3 melanoma because of too much sun-worship in his youth. this is not something that he can look back at and say, "it's because i did this..." he said that his kids are holding strong and that he's trying to keep a positive attitude. the doctor told him that's one of the best indicators for survival. i, myself, will continue to pray for him and tell him that he's going to beat it.

mentally, physically, emotionally... spent

yesterday was a long day, with a long drive, and an unhappy night. at least i'm home. and do you know what's on sci-fi at 03:00? rediculously ginormous mosquitos and spectacularly horrible acting.

heading home

and couldn't be happier about it. we stopped at the spinal center for a couple of hours to visit with hs. I'll have more to say about that when i have an actual computer to type on. we should be home way late but i was able to switch shifts with a coworker tomorrow so i don't have to work until 08:00. the extra hour will be appreciated.

no commutes for me, thanks

after staying up far too late talking without friends, i got a good (though short) night's sleep. we then got up far too early to make the commute into the old office. i had almost forgotten how much commuting sucks. unfortunately, i won't be seeing my favorite buddy as he is off today and tomorrow. however, i did get to go to my favorite mexican place for lunch! it was every bit as yummy as I remember and i truly hurt myself. i just couldn't help it. tomorrow I'll be visiting my favorite italian place around here. yay for yummy visitations!

i think we're alone now

the in-laws left early this morning and we aren't expected at b&j's until 21:30 so we have had a wonderful day of just the two if us. fabulous, it is. we took it easy getting out of the cabin and then stopped on top of the mountain to walk up to clingman's dome. over the mountain, we stopped and wasted a little time around cherokee before continuing south to waste more time in gainesville. we are now headed toward b&t's to continue loafering around until they get home from church. it's been a great day.

here ducky, ducky

i feel much better after a nice, quiet nap. i think all three of us got a bit of rest before deciding to head back to town. the in-laws still haven't returned from their day-tripping and we haven't been able to reach them by phone so i guess their off having a good time. we're at a little pan in town. hubby and nephew played frisbee while i walked some laps around the park (i'd guess two miles). we then walked down to the river together to talk to the ducks. there was a momma with some brand new hatchlings and we had a good time watching them. they even came up on the bank a few feet in front of us several times. the strange part was when the momma flew off above the dam, leaving her babies behind. we watched in bewilderment for several minutes and the babies were frantic for their momma. finally momma came to the edge of the dam and looked down at them for quite a while like she actually expected them to fly up there with her but she knew better than that. she did eventually come back down and they flocked to her anxiously. i was just astounded. i've never seen any of my ducks abandon their chilluns like that. did i mention that my hubby also held up mountain traffic to rescue a turtle in the road. we are now getting ready to play some putt-putt with the group.

sk8r

after finally getting to sleep in this morning (really, all this getting up at 06:00 is just not my idea of vacation) we met up with the cousins for some ice skating fun at ober gatlinburg. hubby, nephew, and i were actually the only ones to get out on the ice but we had a great time. i think we're going to relax a bit this afternoon and then maybe get the group together again when it cools off this evening to play some putt-putt or something. i'd like to get back in the very nice hot tub again but it's much warmer today than it was yesterday so i'm not sure that will be wise. we'll see. oh, i almost forgot about the amazing storm that came through last night. I couldn't tell you what time it was since there is not a clock in our room but it was bigger rain, thunder, and lightening than i've heard in a long time. it woke us up but that was okay because it was so pleasant to listen to. it really was truly impressive.

more prayers needed

a very dear friend of mine found out a couple of weeks ago that he has lymphoma. they found it in his abdomen and say that it has already spread to many lymph nodes around the body. he will be going wednesday for further tests to try to determine a prognosis and course of treatment. it was all i could do to keep it together on the phone with him last night and as soon as I hung up I started bawling. i cried a lot last night because I just can't stand the thought of anything happening to my friend. I told him he needs to come down and spend some time at the beach before they start chemo or anything. I'm worried, folks, but I am praying that they are able to get him into remission and i'll get to have many, many more conversations with my
friend.

we also got an update on hs's son yesterday. the surgery went well on wednesday. he is breathing on his own again and he can flex his arm up towards his body but he cannot straighten it back out yet. apparently, the same nerves that control that extension action also control many
leg movements. he also cannot move his fingers yet. hs is dealing but said that his son isn't talking much and it doesn't seem like it's really hit him yet. they will be flying him back to atlanta monday to a spinal rehabilitation facility. with any hope, he will be able to regain many movements.

ready for home

it took forever, but we finally made it. we've been hanging out at the cousin's cabin playing pool, talking, relaxing, and most importantly cooling off. it's bloody hot out there, folks! our car started
overheating while sitting in traffic in town. it's definitely pretty here (in the mountains) but the general area is far too crowded and touristy for my likes. last time we were here was new year of the millienia. it's even worse now than it was then. i'm much more of a spend the holidays close to home kind of girl, myself.

way too early

got up at 05:13 (well, i've been awake since 02:37). are we there yet?

silence is golden

and i've been soaking it up this morning. of course my poor husband has
been working feverishly all morning to conslidate all of our junk into
one storage building. a task we've been meaning to complete for months
now. he did it too. i tell ya, if there was an olympic event for
packing a lot of stuff into small spaces, my terrifically talented
hubby would win the good hands down! i've been lazily laying around.
i didn't sleep very well because i was so angry at hubby for trying to
get himself killed by a whale in my dream last night. hey, i never
said i was without issues.

five day weekend

we've made it to wedowee so we are officially no longer responsible for
teenage girls. woohoooo! tomorrow we'll spend a little time visiting
gma h and rearranging our storage building. friday, we'll be heading
to tn for a big family weekend (didn't we just do that?). did i
mention that we're teenager-free.

claiming my prize

this is my kayak that i paid for in blood:

ironically enough, it is one of the ones that was in our final cuts from this weekend's shopping. i'm thinking of calling the store (same store we had seen it, skew is still on the kayak) to see whether they will do returns without a "gift receipt". don't get me wrong, i am thrilled to pieces with it. but on the unlikely chance that they will do a return, we can take the money and go get the super nice kayaks that we really want but they're more expensive and we hated to spend so much since we'd need two of them. with what this kayak cost, it would cover most of the better one and we won't feel so bad buying them. but, i'm also a realist and am very doubtful that the store will give us money for it. i figure, if they'll do a return at all, they'll want to give us store credit and there's nothing else in that store we would buy. either way, i've got a kayak and i'm pleased as punch!

luck? what's that???

you'll never guess in a million years what just happened... i won a KAYAK!!! apparently, when we gave blood the other day, they were doing a drawing amongst the donors for a kayak . i recall them mentioning it in passing when we were almost done there but i never thought anymore about it because, let's face it, i'm not a winner. and, actually, while hubby was talking with the woman and said i won a kayak, i was racking my brain to remember where that whole discussion even took place. anyhow, we'll be going to pick it up after work this afternoon and i'm looking forward to seeing it (please, please please, let it be small enough to fit in the elevators!). i'm so excited. i don't win things. especially things i really want. you know, since we've been kayak shopping for the last several weekends and were really close to buying two of them. yay for blood-letting!!!

wii wanna rock and roll all night

and sleep in all day long! oh, to be fifteen again, without a care in the world! (wait, no, i had a job at fifteen and had to work when i wasn't at school)

in one weekend wii have already unlocked 45 of the 63 songs. clearly, wii are going to need more songs.




it's been a great way to pass the time.